A new way
Squinting at the screen without my glasses, willing myself to see.
Easier than getting up to clean the smudges. I don't have many wrinkles,
but the ones I do seem to be related to the lifelong squint. Between my
brows, in creases on either corner of my eyes.
I also have a perpetually raised eyebrow. I think it makes me look
incredulous. It certainly doesn't allow me to blend in. Hard to hide the
arched look, even with huge face-obscuring sunglasses.
These
things are unlikely to change. But telling myself I'm going to make
today the day I start exercising again, and then getting all the way
through the long day without having broken a sweat - well, yeah. Nothing
new there. I'm not one for New Year's Day declarations. I do like
making an audacious commitment. Easier when I've got something to prove.
Less easy to do day in and day out without the big goal.
You'd think living a long and healthy life would be enough, but
that's not as immediate as raising money for the SF AIDS Foundation, or
the Women's Cancer Resource Center. Problem is, these days, everybody
and their mother is participating in a charity event, and every third
person has a Kickstarter campaign. We've become inured to requests for
sponsorship, and accepted that this is the only way to fund urgent
causes. But too many, too much - especially in an election year when
every other email is a strangely casual call for $13 for Obama, which
naturally I give, out of fear for what happens otherwise, all the while
bitter that money is the be all and end all.
I find it ironic that I'm exhausted by doing nothing except viewing
and responding to, or ignoring pleas for action. Everything these days
seems to be between the finger tips and the squinting eyes. The body is
almost immaterial.
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