I walked into the girl's room at the end of the hall by drama and music. Shawna, LaTonya and some chick I didn't know where in there, smoking and laughing. I fucking hated it when people were in the rest room. I just wanted to pee, but instead, I felt like I was walking the gauntlet. I had to make small talk, pee while hoping they would talk and not listen to the tinkling, and get out of there without having some bad shit go down.
Bathrooms and junior highs are a bad combination. Unsupervised tough chicks worse. They did that stupid thing where they suddenly got all quiet while I was trying to finish., shushing each other and laughing and then going totally silent. I should have told them to fucking knock it off, but I wasn't quite one of them and that would have been idiotic, especially with my pants down.
They were all staring at me when I got out, mean. Like they were about to beat the shit out of me. I thought they might - Shannon was known for going off on people and LaTonya you did not fuck around with. But they busted up and told me to come over.
Shannon was holding a skinny joint wrapped in red, white and blue smoke paper. She told me I should take a toke. I didn't want to in the bathroom at school. Being high at school made it worse than it already was - the Rah Rahs and their evil boyfriends, the slamming lockers, the clicking of the school secretary's heels on the scuffed linoleum floors.
I tried to get out of it, but then LaTonya got in my face, smiled big and told me it was laced with Angel Dust. My heart started beating too loud and fast, I thought they were gonna realize what a pussy I was. I remembered the black and white movie we saw in health about PCP. A women smoked it and then turned into a lunatic before she tried to cut up someone and then jump out the window of a mental hospital.
Shannon was watching my face. I thought she could hear me breathe. That other bitch was by the door, guarding it. LaTonya was breathing in my scared air, the light behind her making her hazy. Or maybe that was my nerves.
I wanted to run out but there was no way. If I did that, they'd either catch me before I got to the door and beat the shit out of me, or they'd tell everyone and I would have to leave school. So, I did it. Took the joint, sucked a toke and wondered why it was so light - no taste except burning paper. Then they started laughing at me again while they walked out the door.
"That shit ain't no PCP Strauss. That's just a paper."
I turned red, felt tingling down my arms and was so goddamn relieved.
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