The Daily Write: I need three things (August 28, 2013)

Writing Prompt: I need three things

If I were to redo my own junior high experience, I would resist authority less. I'm not sure why I bucked up so hard against the teachers and administrators. It was the rules, all those rules. The rules themselves, before I even started acting out, made me feel like a bad kid, like it was inevitable that I do something wrong. I think the rules propelled me to a life of delinquency and misery. They taught me things. They opened up a world of possibilities to me that I had not known were options.

In elementary school I behaved. I knew that was what expected of me and there was no getting out of it. I understood and did not question the consequences. I toed the line. But in junior high, there were so many lists of the potential bad I could enact that, like an afflicted child with OCD, I felt compelled to do them. It was some sort of reverse conjuring magic that resulted in my inability to make it through one entire day without mouthing off, taking off, lighting up or getting into a fight.

My son started middle school today, 6th grade. He's 11 going on 12. He and I both had to read through a long list of rules and sign them saying we understood. Here are some of the bad choices that read almost like suggestions:

• Assault or attempted assault
• Inciting others to fight
• Possessing, selling or furnishing firearms, knives, explosives, or other dangerous objects
• Possessing, using, selling or furnishing controlled substances and intoxicants
• Committing or attempting to commit robbery or extortion
• Causing or attempting to cause damage to school or private property
• Possessing or using tobacco or nicotine containing products
• Committing an obscene act or engaging in habitual profanity or vulgarity (including "pantsing" and "mooning") 
• Selling drug paraphernalia
• Disrupting school activities or otherwise willfully defying the valid authority of school personnel
• Knowingly receiving stolen school property or private property
• Possessing an imitation firearm
• Committing or attempting to commit a sexual assault or battery
• Harassing, threatening or intimidating a student who is a complaining witness or witness in a school disciplinary proceeding

For the love of god, what happened to not putting bad ideas into peoples' heads? No wonder I was a ticking time bomb in junior high; the chances of me not fucking up were minuscule. I'm just glad it didn't mention murder.

I'm going to the next PTA meeting with a new list of rules. If my kid is going to be treated like bad news waiting to happen, lets at least make him a revolutionary:

The following activities can lead to disciplinary action up to and including expulsion:

• Inciting riots
• Staging sit ins
• Standing up for the teachers union and organize mass walk outs
• Rebelling against standardized testing
• Defending for the underdog
• Resisting the abuse of power
• Defacing falsified US and world history textbooks
• Organizing alternative anti-war pep rallies
• Producing false ID for the purposes of becoming tattooed