A little good news
I was thinking about snails the other day. What strange creatures.
Slimy, trail tagging beings with shells. I realized I don't know much
about them really. Like, do they live in one shell all their snaily
lives or do they find new shells? If they go on a hunt, wouldn't it make
sense simply to go to the escargot aisles and pick up a tube of them?
There could be snail trades,
"I've got a tube of 10 gauge shells, trade you for a few eight gauges."
It's
far more fun for me to anthropomorphize creatures than deal with them
sans any human qualities. I mean, really, wouldn't you rather read this
imagining an endearingly squeaky and high little tiny snail voice than
accidentally step on one on your way to the car while avoiding the dog
shit someone didn't pick up on your median strip (right by the passenger
door where the kids get in).
The good news is that snails are rather inconsequential. The bad news is that they will eat up all your beautiful purple kohlrabi and decimate your cabbage.
Also,
as I'm sure you've heard by now, the Mars rover has landed. It sent
back some pictures of earth the other day - you know what stood out
most? Glowing snail trails. Millions of them.
Let me just put it to you this way: It's not aliens we have to worry about.
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